Jacqueline collier

Written in 2025/FEB

I lived my adolescence inside wired headphones
grasping for some life I couldn’t see
the people in my life, they never gave me their advice
but Taylor gave me hope one day I’d see life on the outside
I thought it was apparent that I had the world’s best parents
‘cause that is what they always used to preach
and they taught me never lie, so I never questioned why
I always felt afraid to go to sleep as a small child

He was so judgmental, she grew resentful
that’s how I’ve learnt to think about it now
I got used to being told that it was always my fault
even when I couldn’t see how, there was no way out
I was always criticised for not being Jesus Christ
so I never saw the value in being me
whenever I contested, I just knew I’d stand corrected
so I chose silence as a way to stay protected, and feelings festered

’cause if I’d say the wrong thing
like a human, like a child
I’d never live it down
you collect mistakes to hold against me
and you don’t lose count
your love was minimal, if at all
you treat your baby girl like a criminal
call yourself good, well now I’m cynical
what kind of man bullies an 8 year old?

I thought my life was perfect behind closed curtains
because I didn’t have the nerve to disagree
so I never made an effort, everything stayed how I left it
endured each day as a fresh form of misery, and no one addressed it
I never had the freedom to be me
so I spent hours with my sister, make-believe
inventing new worlds where we felt free
to scream and cry and laugh and live and breathe